August 21st, 2020

I hope not to etch my name into history
With a series of apologies

Carl Jung said that “we cannot change anything unless we accept it”. I think this is true, and also very difficult. Acceptance is something many people struggle with, especially with accepting themselves. Acceptance is painful. It hurts to accept ourselves and our flaws. It is far easier to escape ourselves and dive into the love and lives of others, but eventually we will always be forced to return. It feels great to jump from ourselves, escape our being, and deceive ourselves into thinking we are virtuous. It feels horrible to accept that we are flawed, we are imperfect, and that we are our most hated foe. We are the sum of all the demons we project onto others and the world. We are our own boogeyman.

Many of us live in a state of cognitive dissonance for much of our lives. The things we do and the ways we act do not match our own self-image, nor do they match the image we *think* people have of us. We will stay in this state until we learn to accept ourselves and learn to love ourselves so that we may properly love others. It is a journey, and we are all at different point in it. I don’t know why I’ve written this, and I don’t know why I write most of the time in general. I suppose it’s just to scream into the void.

I was wrong about change, previously. I think I have changed. I accept who I am, I accept my faults and flaws and all the mistakes I have ever made and continue to make. I hope you can too. I do not know if I’m ready to love myself yet, I don’t know if I ever will be. I do know that we should all have the chance to, or the opportunity. If you read this, whoever you are or wherever you are, I very much love you, whoever you may be. I hope you are able to recognize that you are your own “big bad”, your own most hated foe, your own demons. Love your “shadow”, as Jung called it. And I hope you are able to love yourself.

One thought on “August 21st, 2020

  1. Hi Kobe, it’s Ms. Carter. Happy Birthday. I’m proud of you & thoroughly enjoyed your blog. Looking forward to more of your evolution.
    Love You,
    Ms. Carter


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